Week 40

As the longest week of my pregnancy to date, the post for this week has taken the longest for me to muster the mojo to write. Not only have I been faced with inner-struggles, (man vs. self) I have also combatted outside forces which have weakened me to the core, (man vs. the world).

Since I have never been pregnant, I can honestly say, I have never with great conviction given a woman in my situation advice. Recently, my friend had a baby, and toward the end of her pregnancy she was feeling the itch to get it over with already. I remember telling her to let her baby stay in there a little longer because she was only 37 weeks at the time. But that has been the extent of my wisdom. Here are the top ten things I will not say to a pregnant woman in my situation after having been in my situation. (If you have told me any of these things, I do not fault you for it, and you're wonderful).

10. She is staying in there because it is cold out here. The first 17 times, this was sweet. Don't get me wrong. But the longer this lasts, the more literally I take every gem of advice. So now I just think, "you don't really think the baby is in there steadying the walls of my uterus and working against every contraction in hopes that I'll wait until spring to force her out, do you?"

9. Sleep now. I'm sorry. I sleep 10-12 hours every night. Then I take a 2 hour nap almost every day. I am sleeping. I am sleeping a ton. I know I won't sleep when the baby comes. But here's a thought, I want her here so badly, I am pretty sure I won't try to put her back in so I can sleep more. I'll deal with it like everyone else does. With coffee and crying.

8. She's not ready. I noticed.

7. No baby yet? This one speaks for itself 

6. Have you tried ____(fill in blank with wives tale remedy like eating pineapple or eggplant parm)____?

5. Let her stay in there and get nice and big. No. And, as if I had a choice.

4. She's waiting for my birthday. She doesn't even know when your birthday is--and neither do I. Be gone.

3. Enjoy this time. This one is sometimes accompanied by "of silence" or "with your husband." What about the fact that my husband's favorite question is, "are you gonna have her soon?" 

2. That leads to my next one: You gonna have that baby soon?

1. I bet you are so ready. 

Now, like I said: if you have said any of things to me I don't find you revolting. But you have to understand that I have heard each of these things 10 times or more, even from complete strangers.

So, tomorrow is my 41-week checkup. I will be 40 weeks and 5 days. I just had a check on Friday, a little out of turn, because the doc was hoping I would have gone another couple of centimeters so he could induce today. And yet, here we are. I also had my normal 40-week checkup last Tuesday. So I'm feeling a bit like I live at his office. As I type, Texan is lying, destitute, on our bed. Occasionally he strokes my tummy or says something to SJ. But mostly he just looks like a sad puppy. This is one daddy who has waited long enough. 

It helps to sometimes look at the positive things that are happening in the here and now. Because the waiting and the hoping is wearing me thin. Also the fact that I have come down with terrible congestion and drainage, but the thought of going to sit in a doc's office around a bunch of people who are sicker than me just doesn't sen worth it. Here's something great that happened: the other day I found the perfect setting on my toaster for my pop tarts. When they popped up they were hot and gooey inside and crusty and perfect outside. Baby steps.

Also, Texan has taken a new interest in helping out in the kitchen. The other night I made spicy taco soup and he made the rue and helped stir as I poured and...well, he was more helpful than I'm making him sound.  

All my shows are coming back this month. Parks and Rec is back this Thursday, Hart of Dixie, and Downton Abbey are back as well. Also, I found a new show that I love on Netflix. It's called "Call the Midwife." Try it! 

One crisis narrowly averted today was the crisis of the frozen well. At 6:30 this morning, Texan woke me up saying, "We have no water. The well is frozen and so are all the pipes."

I must've laid there in bed freaking out for almost half an hour. I imagined bringing the baby home to a house where the floor had been ripped up to fix busted pipes. I imagined having to move out because the pipes were so badly damaged. I imagine going to stay with my parents but then remembered that my grandma is staying with them so there would be no conceivable place for us and the baby until the pipe got fixed. Because before I knew, it was 7 am and Texan was out the door and I was texting my friend (who recently moved in 3 doors down) asking if her well had frozen. She said it hadn't and offered to leave me a key so I could use her shower while she was at work. I accepted, then received orders from Texan to meet him at a half-way point to his work because he had forgotten his work keys. Outside it was 8 degrees. I loaded up the dogs--because announcing a car ride was faster than dragging them out of their warm bed into the backyard, and I hit the road at warp speed. I returned and spent most of the day remembering how pregnant and waterless I was. 

Thankfully, the landlords came over and unfroze the well and water was restored around 1:30 in the afternoon. The anxiety I felt was incredibly overwhelming. But thankfully I cry so much over not going into labor and the fear of an induction turning into an emergency c-section that all my tears were dried up (or frozen, like our well).

No appetite yesterday made me wonder if labor would appear soon. But I think it was from my lowly state, because I felt plenty hungry today.

So, I look forward to 8:50 tomorrow. I hope my doctor is able to see me and isn't in some emergency birthing situation at the hospital. And I hope we find out something about this baby inside me and when she no longer will be...