Just Pictures

After her first bath

A few sweet pictures on our first full day home from the hospital

 Big yawns get me every time

 Woody is never far from baby Scarlett

Momma's kisses are her favorite

More Love, More Joy, More Food

Here are the top 10 things I have learned since becoming a mother 17 days ago:

10. Nursing is the greatest privilege bestowed upon women, besides childbirth. Giving life and sustenance to my beautiful gift from God has given me more than unspeakable joy.  

9. Sleeping straight through the night is a privilege afforded only to one husband and a couple lazy hounds right now, and it is not a right.

8. Mothers need showers 10 times more than pregnant women and non-mothers combined. There's something about waking up in a milk-soaked shirt, sweating out the hormones from pregnancy, then suddenly finding yourself shivering that makes you realize how crucial a shower is to your survival.

7. I have what is called "an easy baby" and it's not supposed to be this easy. I shower every morning while she coos or naps in her bouncer beside the bathroom sink. I can hold her for as long as I want and not hear a peep of injustice when I have to set her down. She sleeps at night with a few feedings sprinkled in. She only cries for 2 reasons: an insanely-soiled diaper or mommy waiting too long to feed her due to company visiting and wanting to hold her.

6. I have not mastered the art of getting ready to leave the house in less than 2 hours. This is because at least an hour of that is spent nursing. Therefore all doctors appointments will henceforth be in the afternoon. Why? See #9

5. My husband is capable of more love than I may have expected. He is a puddle with one look from his "Baby Jane."

4. I have the most incredible core group of friends West of the Mississippi. I have more food in my house than ever. And I didn't have to cook any of it! 

3. Watching people you love take delight in your child is a blessing you must experience for yourself.

2. I now look at married couples who have been married for a while and I think, "have a baby already!"  Because obviously, I'm all-knowing and always right. Because mothers know best. And really, because the only reason they're waiting is because they don't realize how much joy they missing out on. 

1. Almost any song is a lullaby if you song it softly enough..."I've Got the eye of the tiger, a fighter...go to sleep...dancing through the fire."

We had our 2 week appointment on Friday. The appointment was at 2:45, and our Ped's office is very close to Texan's office, so he was able to meet us there and head home for the day after the check up. We have a healthy 21-inch, 7lbs 13oz on our hands. I love that she's still under 8 pounds. I prayed for a healthy petite baby, and God granted me that. 

Saturday we had our newborn photo shoot. Lace, feathers, bare feet;  the works. Then that evening we had a little dinner party with 5 of our friends. Texan smoked a brisket and a bourbon chicken, then we had pie, passed the new baby around and played balderdash. A good time was had by all. I only wish our house was bigger so we could've invited all of our friends. We'll just have to rotate the invites until we've had everyone over. Our brisket is too good not to share with everyone! 

In conclusion, in the past 17 days, our house has been filled with more love, more joy, and more food than ever before. God has poured his blessings out and we are grateful beyond measure. 

Psalm 127:3-5 ESV 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb; a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Scarlett Jane: Birth Story

 I got 45 minutes of sleep the night Scarlett was born. 

It wasn't a night for sleep. It was a night for daughter-having, I love yous, thank yous, and this-is-your-new-nurse-please-pay-careful-attention-while-she-talks-your-ear-off-while-another-nurse-makes-your-3-hour-old-cry-in-ways-you-always-said-you-would-never-let-her. Then that nurse will take your baby away and prick her skin and it will be a very long ten minutes. Because you haven't been that far from your daughter since she was just a tiny piece of you plus your husband that no one even knew existed yet. 

January the ninth started at 4am. We gathered our bags and kissed our dogs goodby (yuck, furball) and left for the hospital in some pretty thick fog. As we made our way into the city limits, Texan said, "Remember this. (Dramatic hand flourish) January 9th, a cold, foggy morning." We will always remember that dark, hazy drive as we clung to the few hours of anticipatory sleep we had allowed ourselves.

As we entered the hospital, a desk clerk pointed to the labor and delivery corridor to the left and we walked through the wide double doors to a busy woman who was pleasantly plump and even more pleasantly friendly. It felt incredible to answer her question, "Here for an induction?" With a resounding "YES!" She took my weight and hid it from me for my own sanity, then told us to wait for the real secretary to return from tucking a c-section patient into bed. When she returned, she took us to room 17 where I was given a gown and told to undress completely except for the gown, which had a stain on the left breast. All I could think of was a Jim Gaffigan comedy routine where he pokes fun at the idea of giving birth in a gown someone died in yesterday. I even did my own rendition of the routine for Texan, who was unabashed. The room was totally set up for delivery including the little examination bed for the baby and receiving blankets and all the monitors for my contractions. It was so surreal, like being a kid and walking through the gates at Disney World for the first time. Are we really here? Is this going to be the best day of my life? 

My first nurse was Jennifer. She looked to be about 18, and had the fastest and steadiest hands I could've hoped for from someone placing my IV for Pitocin and fluids to hydrate me and setting up mine and Scarlett's monitors. She was very friendly, and I was sad that we had come at the end of her 12-hour shift. By 7:30, my new nurse was Jena. She wore a silver-sequence headband that I assumed she had borrowed from one of her SIX children she told me she had. She assisted my doctor as he broke my water--which I expected to hurt for some reason--then made me very comfortable. Then we waited. It wasn't long before I had gone from 2cm to 4cm and it seemed the pitocin was doing its job. My contractions were noticeable but not uncomfortable in the least. In fact, it wasn't until noon that I was feeling the pain of my contractions. I asked nurse Jena for some pain relief and she called in the anesthesiologist to administer an epidural. I could've sworn I had told Jena I didn't want the epidural, but I guess not. So she gave me Staydol to take off the edge and told me if I changed my mind about the epidural to let her know. Well, it wasn't until 6pm that I found out I was still at 4cm and was in agony, that I decided to get the epidural. It took about 10 minutes of careful deliberation and coercing from Jena, who assured me that it wouldn't slow down my labor and actually, it would help me relax and that would make me dilate faster. Her words to me after I got it were, "I'd rather get a ride to Dallas than walk. If you know what I mean." I know. Why take the hard road when there's the modern convenience? My newfound joy that I found in painlessly contracting and playing cards with my dad and close friend was cut short when my doctor let me know that if I hadn't dilated to at least a 6pm by 9pm then he would do a c-section. 

At that point my dad settled in for the long haul, and we all tried to be cheery about how a c-section only takes 35 minutes. "And you'll still get to hold her right away, Boo." Or "it won't be how you pictured but it will have the same end result," eventually had me calm enough to accept it. Then at 9:30 pm  the contractions got intense and all at once quite painful. I called my new nurse, Charity, to tell her about the change. She said we would monitor them but we needed to not turn up the epidural at this point. That was fine, because contracting was exciting and not nearly as painful as it had been pre-epidural. When the doctor came in around 10 pm to check me, he announced that I was almost 8cm. There was much rejoicing.

 

My dad and Texan's mom helped me through my contractions for the next hour or so. My dad watched the monitor and told me when each contraction was at its peak so I could know when the pain was coming to an end, and Texan's mom rubbed my back through each contraction. This was Heaven because my back was covered in itchy tape from the epidural. Nurse charity promised to check me again around 11, and when she did, I was fully dilated and fully effaced, but the baby hadn't dropped. For this check, she had asked our parents to step into the curtained alcove of our room--an area with a couch and a tv for family visiting. So when they heard, "I'll prepare the delivery table," they were pretty scared that they were going to be stuck back there through the delivery. "Wait! Let us leave first!" Pretty funny moment.

When the parents had gone and the lights were turned to full-brightness, charity returned with her charge nurse who checked me and said, "The head has definitely dropped." Charity had been wrong, and I was glad. Because by 11:45, I was pushing. It was just me, Texan and Charity in the room and it felt so low-key. None of the sweaty screaming like in the movies. Just holding my breath for 10 counts and pushing with all my might. (Also, I threw up once. Never seen that in the movies). Then 15 minutes later, Scarlett was crowning and my doctor came in to deliver her. It was another 20 minutes of pushing before she arrived. 

Pushing was the best thing I've ever done. It was the first time in 9 months that I was in control of my pregnancy. I wanted it to be over, so I made sure it was quick! The funniest part was that it took 35 minutes--the exact amount of time it would've taken for the c-section. The marker board in the room had said January 9, so in between contractions while I was resting to push again, I had Texan run and change the date. 

 

Here we are at 10-days old. Our Scarlett is a laid-back enthusiastic eater. Her hobbies include nursing, sleeping in up to 3 hour intervals, looking like her daddy, and smiling for no reason. 

The day leading up to her birth, and every day since can be categorized under the heading: Best Days of my Life.

Week 40

As the longest week of my pregnancy to date, the post for this week has taken the longest for me to muster the mojo to write. Not only have I been faced with inner-struggles, (man vs. self) I have also combatted outside forces which have weakened me to the core, (man vs. the world).

Since I have never been pregnant, I can honestly say, I have never with great conviction given a woman in my situation advice. Recently, my friend had a baby, and toward the end of her pregnancy she was feeling the itch to get it over with already. I remember telling her to let her baby stay in there a little longer because she was only 37 weeks at the time. But that has been the extent of my wisdom. Here are the top ten things I will not say to a pregnant woman in my situation after having been in my situation. (If you have told me any of these things, I do not fault you for it, and you're wonderful).

10. She is staying in there because it is cold out here. The first 17 times, this was sweet. Don't get me wrong. But the longer this lasts, the more literally I take every gem of advice. So now I just think, "you don't really think the baby is in there steadying the walls of my uterus and working against every contraction in hopes that I'll wait until spring to force her out, do you?"

9. Sleep now. I'm sorry. I sleep 10-12 hours every night. Then I take a 2 hour nap almost every day. I am sleeping. I am sleeping a ton. I know I won't sleep when the baby comes. But here's a thought, I want her here so badly, I am pretty sure I won't try to put her back in so I can sleep more. I'll deal with it like everyone else does. With coffee and crying.

8. She's not ready. I noticed.

7. No baby yet? This one speaks for itself 

6. Have you tried ____(fill in blank with wives tale remedy like eating pineapple or eggplant parm)____?

5. Let her stay in there and get nice and big. No. And, as if I had a choice.

4. She's waiting for my birthday. She doesn't even know when your birthday is--and neither do I. Be gone.

3. Enjoy this time. This one is sometimes accompanied by "of silence" or "with your husband." What about the fact that my husband's favorite question is, "are you gonna have her soon?" 

2. That leads to my next one: You gonna have that baby soon?

1. I bet you are so ready. 

Now, like I said: if you have said any of things to me I don't find you revolting. But you have to understand that I have heard each of these things 10 times or more, even from complete strangers.

So, tomorrow is my 41-week checkup. I will be 40 weeks and 5 days. I just had a check on Friday, a little out of turn, because the doc was hoping I would have gone another couple of centimeters so he could induce today. And yet, here we are. I also had my normal 40-week checkup last Tuesday. So I'm feeling a bit like I live at his office. As I type, Texan is lying, destitute, on our bed. Occasionally he strokes my tummy or says something to SJ. But mostly he just looks like a sad puppy. This is one daddy who has waited long enough. 

It helps to sometimes look at the positive things that are happening in the here and now. Because the waiting and the hoping is wearing me thin. Also the fact that I have come down with terrible congestion and drainage, but the thought of going to sit in a doc's office around a bunch of people who are sicker than me just doesn't sen worth it. Here's something great that happened: the other day I found the perfect setting on my toaster for my pop tarts. When they popped up they were hot and gooey inside and crusty and perfect outside. Baby steps.

Also, Texan has taken a new interest in helping out in the kitchen. The other night I made spicy taco soup and he made the rue and helped stir as I poured and...well, he was more helpful than I'm making him sound.  

All my shows are coming back this month. Parks and Rec is back this Thursday, Hart of Dixie, and Downton Abbey are back as well. Also, I found a new show that I love on Netflix. It's called "Call the Midwife." Try it! 

One crisis narrowly averted today was the crisis of the frozen well. At 6:30 this morning, Texan woke me up saying, "We have no water. The well is frozen and so are all the pipes."

I must've laid there in bed freaking out for almost half an hour. I imagined bringing the baby home to a house where the floor had been ripped up to fix busted pipes. I imagined having to move out because the pipes were so badly damaged. I imagine going to stay with my parents but then remembered that my grandma is staying with them so there would be no conceivable place for us and the baby until the pipe got fixed. Because before I knew, it was 7 am and Texan was out the door and I was texting my friend (who recently moved in 3 doors down) asking if her well had frozen. She said it hadn't and offered to leave me a key so I could use her shower while she was at work. I accepted, then received orders from Texan to meet him at a half-way point to his work because he had forgotten his work keys. Outside it was 8 degrees. I loaded up the dogs--because announcing a car ride was faster than dragging them out of their warm bed into the backyard, and I hit the road at warp speed. I returned and spent most of the day remembering how pregnant and waterless I was. 

Thankfully, the landlords came over and unfroze the well and water was restored around 1:30 in the afternoon. The anxiety I felt was incredibly overwhelming. But thankfully I cry so much over not going into labor and the fear of an induction turning into an emergency c-section that all my tears were dried up (or frozen, like our well).

No appetite yesterday made me wonder if labor would appear soon. But I think it was from my lowly state, because I felt plenty hungry today.

So, I look forward to 8:50 tomorrow. I hope my doctor is able to see me and isn't in some emergency birthing situation at the hospital. And I hope we find out something about this baby inside me and when she no longer will be...